I think this is all going down IRL as I_s o_ the B_ O_. I think that’s the goal. I think the goal has a lot to do with compassion. I think all else is sociopathic. I don’t know what it all means but I think it is valid. I told someone who is my Friend (emphasis on that caps F) that I am underachieving. I prevented her inquiry re my lover by asking about hers. I support her in all that she is doing. I think she will run the perfect firm to work for one day and I think she is one of the most decent architects I have met. | I love a challenge. I like New York because it’s a challenge to be here. Not to make it or anything, just to be here. Building tolerance and all that shit. Commonness, commonalities, community, even the falseness of it all–it’s good for that. At least The Island is. In my mind the Island is all that matters. I guess it’s okay to include all those who are temporarily Islanders for their 9 to 5s. | Today was a good day at work. Tomorrow will be a good day at Work (emphasis on the caps W), which is not the 9 to 5+ +Saturdays and a missing paycheck from the first two weeks of June. | Sometimes you just have to shut out all the bad shit and focus on all the good that can come out of a place, the people around you, the person you love that’s not around you. Sometimes you have to believe that persistence pays even though it mostly doesn’t bc the group politic is fucking god fearing and believes that shit happens for a reason. Meanwhile, I occasionally believe my father’s whole shit happens because the shit that happens upon a person is something some higher power knows that person can handle. Higher power is simply ours most of the time. | Too many beverages this evening, not enough water signs. The Friend shares a sign with an old lover. The old lover does not matter anymore but the new Friend certainly does. | I think about an old friend who inserts herself into my dreamspace and all she has to say there is Thank you for sharing the Internet with me. I’ve never heard the word Internet in dreamspace. Emphasis on the caps I.

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